Little Johnny's Halloween

Little Johnny was on a park bench stuffing all of his Halloween candy in his mouth. An old lady came over and said. "Son, don't you know that eating all of that candy will rot your teeth, give you acne, and make you sick?"

"My grandfather lived to be 105 years old!" replied Johnny.

"Did he eat five candy bars at a sitting?" the old lady retorted.

"No," said Johnny, "but he minded his own freakin' business."

Iron Phone

A blonde with two burnt ears went to the doctor, who asked what had happened.

"The phone rang, and I accidentally picked up the iron."

"What about the other one?"

"They called back."

The Programmer and the Princess

A programmer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, “If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess.” He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week.”
The programmer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do anything you want.” Again the programmer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, “What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?” The programmer said, “Look, I'm a programmer. I don't have time for a girlfriend -- but a talking frog, now that's cool.”

Fall-Down Drunk

A man, whose level of drunkenness was bordering on the absurd, stood up to leave a bar and fell flat on his face.

"Maybe all I need is some fresh air," thought the man as he crawled outside.

He tried to stand up again, but fell face first into the mud.

"Screw it," he thought. "I'll just crawl home."

The next morning, his wife found him on the doorstep asleep.

"You went out drinking last night, didn't you?" she said.

"Uh, yes," he said sheepishly. "How did you know?"

"You left your wheelchair at the bar again."

Blonde Laugh

How do you make a blonde laugh on Friday?

Tell her a joke on Monday!

Baseball in Heaven

Two old men, Abe and Sol, sit on a park bench feeding pigeons and talking about baseball. Abe turns to Sol and asks, "Do you think there's baseball in Heaven?"

Sol thinks about it for a minute and replies, "I dunno. But let's make a deal -- if I die first, I'll come back and tell you if there's baseball in Heaven, and if you die first, you do the same."

They shake on it and sadly, a few months later, poor Abe passes on. Soon afterward, Sol sits in the park feeding the pigeons by himself and hears a voice whisper, "Sol... Sol...."

Sol responds, "Abe! Is that you?"

"Yes it is, Sol," whispers Abe's ghost.

Sol, still amazed, asks, "So, is there baseball in Heaven?"

"Well," says Abe, "I've got good news and bad news."

"Gimme the good news first," says Sol.

Abe says, "Well, there is baseball in Heaven."

Sol says, "That's great! What news could be bad enough to ruin that?"

Abe sighs and whispers, "You're pitching on Friday."

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If you've ever wondered how much sleep you actually got during a restless night, a new home-use device may have the answer. Users sleep wearing a headband fitted with a sensor that monitors electrical activity in the brain.

Physicians use similar data gathered from EEGs to diagnose sleep disorders, but EEG studies are usually conducted in dedicated sleep clinics. In the home device, the headband sends data wirelessly to a bedside unit resembling an alarm clock, which records and displays the user's sleep patterns. The data can be uploaded to a website that allows users to track sleep statistics and gives suggestions for how to improve sleep.

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Twenty years ago, Panda Security founder Mikel Urizarbarrena had already created a number of software systems. One of them became infected with a virus that caused a ping-pong ball to drop down on the screen. In response, he started collecting viruses, simply as a hobby. But by 1990, Urizarbarrena realized that the hobby could become a business.

Today the company operates in more than 200 countries, with offices in 56. Panda Security products focuses security through antimalware technology, protecting both consumers and business from viruses, spyware, and other internet threats.

Source: Technology Review

Galactic Suite Limited is a company that promotes space tourism, and was founded in 2007. Galactic Suite Limited firmly believes that the world of tourism is on the threshold of a different era.

The company aims upon creating world’s first space resort by 2012. It also aims at making space tourism worthwhile.

Galactic Suite has appointed several companies including EQUIPXCL, GBT, CTAE, and 4FC for working upon the Master Plan of GSProject. All our associates are fully dedicated to make our space hotel exist in full glory by 2012.

We are also concerned with the well being of the tourists. They will be provided with brief training before their journey to the space begins. The astronauts will be trained suitably on a tropical island. We aim at being not only the first, but also the biggest chain of the orbital resorts, even if other competitors enter into the field in future.

The space hotel is not only going to be a unique mega project, but also a revolution as far as tourism is concerned - we are talking here of space tourism. It’s like adding wings to your imagination. The company says they understand that stepping into space is no ordinary task for the common man.

Nonetheless, the company says they are fully committed to make the experience not only thrilling, but also safe for their tourists who rely upon them. Besides touring in space, clients will also enjoy the thrill of training prior to reaching the space resort.

According to the company's website, potential travelers who wish to be space tourists, are most welcome to apply for a reservation right now via their website.

The company promises that after a client's training is complete, and you are at their space resort, you will go through large number of thrilling experiences. For instance, these may include gazing at earth, moon, planets, not to mention the surreal sleeping arrangements, weightlessness etc.

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The annual festival traces its origin back to the early 1800's when Chinese tin miners and others who had been stricken with disease recovered by adhering to a strict vegetarian diet.

A devotees of the Jui Tui Chinese Shrine has his face pierced prior to a street procession at the Vegetarian Festival Saturday, in Phuket, Thailand.

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Swine Flu

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The most expensive room in the communal apartment in the center of Moscow costs more than three one-room apartments on the outskirts of the city, RIA Novosti news agency reports.

The most expensive communal apartment in Moscow is located in the building near the prestigious Kuznetsky Bridge neighborhood and is available for purchase at 11 million rubles ($366,000).

The cost of the cheapest one-room flat inside the Moscow Ring Road makes up 3 million rubles. Therefore, the cost of Moscow’s flat in Kuznetsky Bridge will be enough to buy three flats and a Mercedes car.

A real estate agent said that there was nothing special about the 11-million-ruble room. It is located in Moscow’s prestigious central neighborhoods, and this is the main advantage that the room has.

Nevertheless, the average price of Moscow communal rooms is much lower. A room in a communal flat in Moscow’s Central Administrative District can be available from 2.5 to 6 million rubles ($83,000-$200,000) depending on their square and location. The cheapest communal room can be found in Moscow for 800,000 rubles ($26,000).

Rooms in communal flats enjoy popularity among those arriving from other Russian towns and young Muscovites, who buy such rooms because they can not afford a flat yet.

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1. The Cone Snail: Can kill you in less than 4 minutes

Say, for instance, you happen to be happily walking through the low surf merrily picking up and discarding shells, looking for just the right one to decorate your desk back at the office.

With no warning at all, however, you feel a sharp sting from one of those pretty shells -- a sting that quickly flares into a crawling agony. With that quick sting, the cone snail’s barbed spear has insidiously injected you with one of the most potent neurotoxins in existence.

2. Poison Arrow Frog: Lethal Touch

That frog over there, for instance: that tiny, brilliantly colored tree frog. Doesn't he look like some kind of Faberge ornament, there against that vermilion leaf? Wouldn't such a natural jewel look just gorgeous in a terrarium back home?

Pick him and you'll be dead in a matter of minutes. One second frolicking in the undergrowth, the next spasming and foaming on the jungle floor. No stinger, no bite, no venom: just the shimmering slime covering his brilliant body.

Adrian Pingstone: They are the only animal in the world known to be able to kill a human by touch alone. They can jump as far as 2 inches.


3. The lazy clown of the insect world.

The adult moth is just a moth, but the hairs of the caterpillar are juicy with nasty stuff, so nasty that dozens of people die every year from just touching them. By the way, it’s not a good way to go, either: their venom is a extremely powerful anticoagulant, death happening as the blood itself breaks down. Not fun. Very not fun.

4. Beaked Sea Snake

Another creature of nightmares that doesn’t come with a theme song is a strange import to the world aquatica. When you think snake you usually think of dry land. But if you go paddling around the Persian Gulf (or coastal islands of India) keep a wary eye out for the gently undulating wave of insatiable dreams.

5. Stone Fish
Waits for you to step on itBut it’s not time to leave the sea quite yet. There are two nasty things in the blue depths you should spend many a sleepless night frightened of. For the big one you’ll have to wait a bit, for the one right below it in terrifying lethality you just have to watch your step when you’re walking along the bottom of the ocean.

6. Box Jellyfish should really be called the "coffin" jellyfish

Chironex fleckeri: A tiny jellyfish found off the coast of Australia and southeastern Asia. Only about sixteen inches long, it has four eye-clusters with twenty-four eyes, its tentacles carry thousands of nematocysts, microscopic stingers activated not by ill-will but by a simple brush against shell, or skin. Do this and they fire, injecting anyone and anything with the most powerful neurotoxin known.

As you can see on the top left of the image (below), it's pretty hard to notice Chironex Fleckeri in the wild:

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