Monday, May 25, 2009

Actual call centre conversation!!!

Customer: "I've been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can't get 
through to enquiries, can you help?". 
Operator: "Where did you get that number from, sir?". 
Customer: "It was on the door to the Travel Centre". 
Operator: "Sir, they are our opening hours". 

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Samsung Electronics 

Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?" 
Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking 
about". 
Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that 
I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone 
Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?" 
Operator: "I think you mean the telephone point on the wall". 

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RAC Motoring Services 

Caller: "Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am 
travelling in Australia?" 

Operator: " Doesn't the product name give you a clue?" 
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Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France): 
"If I register my car in France, do I have to change the steering wheel 
to the other side of the car?" 
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Directory Enquiries 

Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please". 
Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?" 
Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' 
fell off". 

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Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven. 
Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?" 
Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland 
". 
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On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone 
box told a worried operator: 
"I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number 
on". 

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Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop". 
Customer: "OK". 
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?". 
Customer: "No". 
Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?" 
Customer: "No". 
Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until 
this point?". 

Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'". 
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Tech Support: "OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you 
see the 'OK' button displayed?" 
Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?" 

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Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised 
that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my 
file back again?". 
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There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a 
long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This 
is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed 
from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to 
say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing 
the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause". 
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now 
I know why they record these conversations!): 

Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?" 
Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect." 
Operator: "What sort of trouble??" 
Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words 
went away." 
Operator: "Went away?" 
Caller: "They disappeared." 
Operator: "Hmm So what does your screen look like now?" 
Caller: "Nothing." 
Operator: "Nothing??" 
Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type." 
Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??" 
Caller: "How do I tell?" 
Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??" 
Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?" 
Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?" 
Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I 
type." 
Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??" 
Caller: "What's a monitor?" 
Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. 
Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??" 
Caller: "I don't know." 
Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where 
the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??" 
Caller: "Yes, I think so." 
Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's 
plugged into the wall. 
Caller: "Yes, it is." 
Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there 
were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??" 
Caller: "No." 
Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and 
find the other cable." 
Caller: "Okay, here it is." 
Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into 
the back of your computer." 
Caller: "I can't reach." 
Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??" 
Caller: "No." 
Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way 
over??" 
Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's 
because it's dark." 
Operator: "Dark??" 
Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is 
coming in from the window. 

" Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then." 
Caller: "I can't." 
Operator: "No? Why not??" 
Caller: "Because there's a power failure." 
Operator: "A power......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it 
licked now. 

Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer 
came in??" 
Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet." 
Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up 
just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you 
Bought it from." 
Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?" 
Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is." 
Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??" 
Operator: "Tell them you're too $*%ing stupid to own a computer!!!!!!!!!!!


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